She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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