well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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