she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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