she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
