I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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