Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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