What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
