Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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