She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
