just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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