My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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