another moral hangover. fuck.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
