You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
