we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
