When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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