1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
