I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
