Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
