You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
then he tried to convert me to islam
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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