You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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