Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize