Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize