at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
