My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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