Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
