I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
