Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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