shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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