I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
