I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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