people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
