It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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