YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
