Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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