I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
