No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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