i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i now understand why vodka
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
