what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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