with your own penis?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
