i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
