Umm I'm too high to move.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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