I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize