I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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