why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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