But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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