New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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