Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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