lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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