If i come over, it means nothing
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
