my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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