I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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