sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize