Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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