I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The uberlube is also flammable
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize