my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
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i think i have two assholes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize