I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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