Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
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It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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