I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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