Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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