Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
