forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
