Banned from zoo.
Again?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
