you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
