is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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