The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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